Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
