did you get engaged???
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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