Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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