Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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