You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
not ubering you a puppy
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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