i just wanna soil my oats bro
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize