And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
