People with herpes should wear stickers.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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