chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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