Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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