Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
