Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize