Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
