I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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