This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
