I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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