Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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