THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
