Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
