my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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