why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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