so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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