Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
