He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
