plz talk dirty to me
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
