Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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