bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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