Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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