What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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