So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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