Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
This house was built for laser tag.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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