I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
