remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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