Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
