life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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