have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
