she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
