I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Be still, my beating vagina.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
