I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
