i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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