so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
