I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
