The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
be right there i have to get my cape
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
