I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
