i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize