I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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