I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
