theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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