I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
