Apparently you make a good broom.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
