I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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