if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
