we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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