last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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