Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
