the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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