I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This baby is an asshole
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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