I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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