Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm like, not good at living.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
