Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
